surprised by joy

the problem of SELF

Which is really, the big problem with me!
So now, I have made the resolution. Not a first, but certainly a first in such seriousness and in writing (well if this counts as print), to BANISH all SELFishness, SELFcentredness and preoccupation with SELF-fulfilment and GROW in selfLESSNESS and selfCONTROL instead. And now that I have said it, I am determined to work out this resolution, so please remind me!

I was pierced by some words spoken tonight, because of their unpleasant truth. More often than not, I seek to please only myself, seek to enrich only myself, seek to be ministered to but not to minister or encourage or help, and well, why?? After all, as that old song went, "where might you be going this fine day my friend/off along a aimless road that soon must end/chasing an illusive dream that shines so fair/but when found isn't there..." I've probably got the lyrics wrong (it's been so long since I last heard it), but you get it's gist. And in the midst of exams (the most tangible chase for success in my life as a student right, even though it's only first year) I feel like I've allowed myself to be entrapped by anger and ambition and condemnation and worry and fear and have not planted my trust firmly in the only one true God who's so much bigger than puny me, but in my own useless futile human efforts instead.

And so I'm grateful once again for a wake-up call, for beautiful testimonies shared (mostly about exams -ugh- but amazing nonetheless!), for melodious voices lifted in worship, for joy restored.


surrender: 3. to give up or give back (something that has been granted)

SURRENDER
i'm giving you my heart
and all that is within
i lay it all down
for the sake of You my King
i'm giving You my dreams
i'm laying down my rights
i'm giving up my pride
for the promise of new life

and i
surrender
all to You, all to You
and i
surrender
all to You, all to You

i'm singing You this song
i'm waiting at the cross
and all the world holds dear
i count it all as loss
for the sake of knowing You
for the glory of Your name
to know the lasting joy
even sharing in Your pain

and i
surrender
all to You

posted by Shi Ning @ 23:09