surprised by joy

On Pride

The flawed man watches on as the race unfolds, wringing his hands in helplessness. Pride is a terrible thing. Pride comes before downfall, but he does not trumpet his arrival, nor does he ever boast of being quicker than Downfall, who is none too good a competitor after all. But sneakily tiptoeing past the finish line, Pride takes utmost delight in his few moments of possessing the entire stage of one flawed man's life. Anger and Selfishness, Pride's elusive cheering team, have started the drumroll behind-the-scenes and upon Pride's silent arrival, break out in cacophony and chaos. And the flawed man whose life is their stage, the race track, cannot help but crumble when Pride drowns under the slower but surer Downfall, who after lagging behind now bursts on the scene in her torrential floods of tears, bitterness, disappointment and much misery. The flaw, was in allowing none but these two runners in his race, for there can then only be a single terrible outcome.

posted by Shi Ning @ 03:38

Pride

Pride (bad)
Leviticus 26:18,19 If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over. I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.
Deuteronomy 8:14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
1 Samuel 2:3 "Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.
2 Chronicles 26:16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God, and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 32:24-26 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. He prayed to the LORD , who answered him and gave him a miraculous sign. But Hezekiah’s heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the LORD’s wrath was on him and on Judah and Jerusalem. Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD's wrath did not come upon them during the days of Hezekiah.
Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
Psalm 31:23 Love the LORD , all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full.
Psalm 40:4 Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. [ 40:4 Or [ to falsehood ] ]
Psalm 94:2 Rise up, O Judge of the earth; pay back to the proud what they deserve.
Psalm 101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure.
Psalm 131:1 My heart is not proud, O LORD , my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
Psalm 138:6 Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar.
Proverbs 8:13To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behaviour and perverse speech.
Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 13:10 Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 21:24 The proud and arrogant man-"Mocker" is his name; he behaves with overweening pride.
Proverbs 29:23 A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honour.
Proverbs 3:34He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.
Proverbs 15:25The LORD tears down the proud man's house but he keeps the widow's boundaries intact.
Proverbs 16:5The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.
Proverbs 16:19Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.
Proverbs 18:12Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor. Proverbs 21:4Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin!
Ecclesiastes 7:8 The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
Isaiah 2:11 The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.
Isaiah 10:12 When the Lord has finished all his work against Mount Zion and Jerusalem, he will say, "I will punish the king of Assyria for the willful pride of his heart and the haughty look in his eyes.
Isaiah 13:11I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.
Isaiah 16:6 We have heard of Moab's pride- her overweening pride and conceit, her pride and her insolence- but her boasts are empty.
Isaiah 23:9 The LORD Almighty planned it, to bring low the pride of all glory and to humble all who are renowned on the earth.
Isaiah 37:23 Who is it you have insulted and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!
Jeremiah 49:16 The terror you inspire and the pride of your heart have deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks, who occupy the heights of the hill. Though you build your nest as high as the eagle's, from there I will bring you down," declares the LORD .
Ezekiel 28:2 "Son of man, say to the ruler of Tyre, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: " 'In the pride of your heart you say, "I am a god; I sit on the throne of a god in the heart of the seas." But you are a man and not a god, though you think you are as wise as a god.
Daniel 5:20 But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory.
Hosea 13:6 When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me.
Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[ 12:16 Or willing to do menial work] Do not be conceited.
1 Corinthians 5:2 And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 2 Timothy 3:2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
James 4:6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
1 Peter 5:5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Pride (good)
Proverbs 17:6 Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Isaiah 4:2 In that day the Branch of the LORD will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel.
2 Corinthians 5:12 We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.
2 Corinthians 7:4 I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.
2 Corinthians 8:24 Therefore show these men the proof of your love and the reason for our pride in you, so that the churches can see it.
Galatians 6:4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else,
James 1:9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.
James 1:10 But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.

posted by Shi Ning @ 02:35

a few little happy surprises ..

- finally getting to relief teach (at commonwealth secondary), more student-sitting than actually teaching, but it was fun. (this actually only lasted all of three days last week)
- meeting an earnest sec one boy whom i thought was called "cornelius" and who told me all in one breath that his email add was "cornelius-underscore-one-underscore-two-at-hotmail-dot-com"
- an unexpected fwded email reveals his name to be kornelius, yes with the k, and the address, kornelius_wang_two@ hotmail.com haha.
- a wonderful time talking to a dearly loved old friend; she has always been wiser than me. =)
- playing with my littlest sister, who buries her head in a pillow and whines "I'm so unhappy because I lost to you.." after her very very first chess game because she's become too accustomed to defeating me at othello.
- frantically scrambling onto aunty sh's sofa on saturday to escape from a big black dog called cookie and collapsing into hysterical laughter. cookie isn't really that fierce, she's a real beauty with the silkiest coat ever who just loves being around people
- getting a gmail account! thanks to an uncle's generous invitation
- bringing home four books from Times today in exchange for only $1.90, and a thick stack of vouchers

posted by Shi Ning @ 11:34

frustration

posted by Shi Ning @ 13:56

七里香

窗外的麻雀 在电线杆上多嘴
你说这一句 很有夏天的感觉
手中的铅笔 在纸上来来回回
我用几行字形容你是我的谁

秋刀鱼 的滋味 猫跟你都想了解
初恋的香味就这样被我们寻回
那温暖 的阳光 像刚摘的鲜艳草莓
你说你舍不得吃掉这一种感觉

雨下整夜 我的爱溢出就像雨水
院子落叶 跟我的思念厚厚一叠
几句是非 也无法将我的热情冷却
你出现在我诗的每一页

雨下整夜 我的爱溢出就像雨水
窗台蝴蝶 像诗里纷飞的美丽章节
我接著写 把永远爱你写进诗的结尾
你是我唯一想要的了解

那饱满 的稻穗 幸福了这个季节
而你的脸颊像田里熟透的蕃茄
你突然 对我说 七里香的名字很美
我此刻却只想亲吻你倔强的嘴

词:方文山 曲:周杰伦

posted by Shi Ning @ 17:28

lethargy--beauty

These days a terrible lethargy seems to have swallowed me! It is: waking up to find that everyone has left the house, or worse has left the house and returned... lazing around on cushions watching swimmers, divers, gymnasts, shooters, archers, badminton players... playing othello and losing to the brightest cutest sparkliest six-year old ever over and over again and again... and so, endlessly procrastinating many things that must get done very very soon!

It's also increasingly lengthy phone conversations, some filled with warmth, others not as nice, but all rather roundabout and unpurposeful. It's the many postponed meetings, walking round and round places doing nothing much, thinking nothing much, buying nothing much... I must must snap out of it!

I think it was Planned that I should have handed in my accommodation application late and not be guaranteed a place to stay. Because it's the one thing that's shoved me into taking action, when all the prodding and nagging I've been getting didn't. I might still be homeless when I reach London- a very scary thought- and presently have no backup plan, but at least I've got together a whole list of numbers to call and will call asap and am praying hard that I will be allocated a place anyway. And having been punished for delaying my visa application (I rushed down today only to find that the college's acceptance letter lacks a few crucial words and that this rendered my attempt to apply by this week useless) I shall not be idle anymore.

The gifts this rainy afternoon were, a queue number pulled out of the machine way before I reached, a lift to the expo warehouse sales after and then all the way across the island back home as it continued pouring, and the friendly ladies at the visa app centre (as compared to the brusque, cold ones at xx medical)

Which reminds me of how beautiful the VISA ad on its being the official card of the Games is, the one with enchanting synchronised swimmers, and unlike some other beautiful ads, this actually properly promotes the VISA brand.

One last (belated, unrelated) thought, my parents have been married twenty years now, their anniversary passed quietly a few days back. Perhaps, maybe, someday I'll know what love like theirs is.

posted by Shi Ning @ 16:45 0 comments

quote

"as though there are a thousand fans blowing at your face!"
kinetic or poetic?
i write it because you said it.
=)

posted by Shi Ning @ 02:29

little girls and chewing gum

I just remembered something really funny that happened when my sister and I were young. Funny how with time things that seemed so desperately upsetting at that time become so laughable! So anyway, I decided I should write an account of it before it slips my mind completely.

We must have been in primary school then, looking so like sisters with hair cut straight round just below our ears and also those straight-across school girl fringes! But this memory starts with us climbing on top those high stools, specially placed under the bathroom sink so that we could perch atop and turn on the tap on to brush teeth and wash up. Or in my case, because I think I should have been tall enough to reach the tap by then, to see myself in the mirror!

Well, anyway, so we were kneeling on the high stools but we weren't cleaning up, we were blowing, or rather trying to blow chewing gum bubbles! And making funny faces with the gum in our mouths at ourselves in the mirror. Those bubbles we blew were probably either holey or just not at all bubbly anyway 'cause daddy only ever bought that sort of chewing gum (from Ipoh)that's so hard to blow bubbles with.

And then what happens? My lump of chewed gum ends up in ying's hair!

I've no idea if it was deliberate or accidental or a combination of both (as often is the case), but I started panicking right after I realised that it was stuck. And she of course, burst into tears. So I desperately tried to shush her while pulling bits of gum out of her hair, all the while getting more hair covered in greyish strands of sticky sticky stuff.

Of course, the elder sister can't succeed in shushing the younger one, especially not when the younger thinks you've done something very very bad to her. So in a minute, mummy is at the door to find out what all the commotion's about. The huge mess that I created in ying's hair in that one minute must have been rather bad, since her shriek when she appeared round the bathroom door was really piercing!

So the ending of this story was that mummy tried all sorts of oil and even baby lotion I think to get the chewing gum out of ying's thick, black hair that'd become yucky and grey, but finally resorted to giving her a rather funky haircut. =) But the real ending was standing in the middle of the living room carpet and looking at the flowers on the carpet to avoid looking at daddy's face as he scolded us for our mischief, though we both couldn't think what mischief we'd wrought (though I really might have put that gum in her hair on purpose but can't remember).

Come to think of it though, I really should have been looking at daddy and not at the floor. How he managed to keep a stern, straight face while scolding his girls, and watching them both being so contrite for playing with... nothing close to fire even, just chewing gum & hair- I simply cannot imagine! =)

posted by Shi Ning @ 17:07 0 comments